Pause for a Moment

I don’t know if it’s the summer or the Olympics, or what, but I am having a problem producing good writing. I am taking a couple of weeks off in hopes that it remedies the problem. I am having the same problem with my artwork, so it’s a creative issue. I appreciate you following me,  and I hope you understand. Sometimes you just  need to live a little in order to create. I will see you soon.

Monique

The Weekly Facts of Loss – 34.6 pounds

Weekly Recap

It has been a productive week; I have found “my” Weight Watchers meeting at 8:45am on Thursdays. Despite not working out much, I lost 1.2 lbs, so I’m happy.  The meeting is very interactive and upbeat. I loved the leader and the atmosphere she created.  After this little triumph of losing a pound, I am re-energized for the process. Still looking for a work out buddy. WW leader thinks I should be able to find one in the Thursday group. I am hopeful.

The Olympics is dominating my schedule. I can’t get enough of it. Instead of motivating me to move myself, I am sedentary watching the play by play and marveling at the accomplishments of the athletes. Normally, my TV is kinda background noise to my activities, but not so with the Games. I am focused watching them to the exclusion of all other activities. I can’t even work on my drawing while the Games are on.  Writing is hard as I can’t think up anything new to say because of the distraction. Good thing this event will be over in a week.

Tip of the Week

Kashi Peanutty Dark Chocolate Granola Bars. 3 points and the chocolate is really rich. They aren’t as sweet as the other bars on the market because they don’t use high fructose corn syrup.  They are more expensive than the more popular brands, but I think they are worth it for occasional treats.

Featured Blog

It Sux To Be Fat I really like this site. She’s on Weight Watchers as well. Well written and interesting.

Plan for the Week

Try to move more. I won’t put down how many days because I just want to move more. When I say 4x or whatever number and I don’t do it, I feel bad, and I don’t feel motivated, just defeated. So for this goal, I will be vague and see if it results in more movement.

Continue eating the way I have been. It’s working. But I do want to watch my portions more. I’m kinda lax about that. If I tighten up, then maybe I’ll get better numbers next week.

 

 

 

Weekly Facts of Loss – Something New

Weight Watchers company logo

Weight Watchers company logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you’ve been following me for awhile, you know that my weigh in day is Sunday. That is changing. I am pleased to say I have joined the Weight Watchers Meeting in my area and my weigh in day will be changing till I find “my meeting”. It will be during the week, I know that much.

So, I did it, I’m now on a monthly pass which provides you access to the weekly meeting and the online tools. This is a big step, I was holed up in my house, accountable only to myself and to a reader like you. I had limited input on new techniques and suggestions. I had no chance of finding an exercise buddy.

Meetings get me out of the house and in a way, out of my own head. When you are an introspective person like I am, and you are a loner, it’s important to put yourself in social situations and get out of your own little world.

My short term goals are two-fold. One is lose five lbs during the next couple of weeks, and second is to start looking for a workout buddy.

Tip For The Week:

One thing I got from today’s meeting is trigger foods. If a food is a trigger food for you, then it can’t be in the house. I keep trigger foods, saying to myself I will portion my servings out so I can have a little of the sweet or salty snack. Well, I can’t do that. I always eat more than I should and they are a temptation.So, no snacks for awhile till I get back on track. Fruit instead.

Thank you for following me through this rocky impasse. I think I’m on track again.

 

 

The Weekly Facts of Loss – At an Impasse, I am Failing

I have bad news to report. You may have noticed I didn’t post last week, and I am reluctantly posting this week. I have been off plan fo two weeks and I’ve gained 4lbs in two weeks. It’s causing me to question everything about this weight loss journey.

Am I committed? If I am (because I say I am) then why this struggle? Why go off the plan and sabotage my progress?

I have lost weight in the past, only to gain it back again. I do fear that happening again, and maybe I am making what I believe to be the future happen now?

I am beginning to believe I am not strong enough to make this goal happen, that I will be heavy forever. I am beginning to believe I am not worthy of being healthy and thin.

I am questioning the whole goal now. It costs so much money to eat healthy, to subscribe to WW Online, to belong to a gym (even if it’s a bargain gym). Why am I shelling out the money if I won’t stay on the program? It’s cheaper to be fat.

The call of the food is stronger than my committment to lose. The food is a drug and I am weak against its pull. Whether I eat carbs and sugar or whether I don’t, the end result is the same. Cravings that I have to satisfy. And the subsequent weight gain.

So I must take a pause and re-evaluate my committment and ability to continue.

Have you ever been in this position? What did you do to turn things around? Did you turn them around, or did you find you weren’t able to?

 

Reality TV vs Reality: Who Is The Biggest Loser ?

America is obese, or half the population is and we are collectively looking for inspiration to lose our unwanted pounds and join the ranks of the healthy other half. Many are turning to the reality shows like Biggest Loser and Extreme Makeover Weight Edition. These shows take morbidly obese individuals and they transform them over approximately a years’ time. Now we are not talking about a fifty pound weight loss, we’re talking over a hundred pounds.  Many people find the stories inspirational. I’m not one of those people.

Why you ask? I mean losing weight is a good thing, right? Yes and no. Yes losing weight sensibly is a good thing. Healthy living and a healthy weight is certainly worth striving for. But losing large amounts of weight in a very short period of time is not a good thing. It’s been proven that there is a high chance of that weight coming back on plus additional pounds. Slower weight loss generally means long term success at keeping it off.

Having lived through this experience I can say that it is unpleasant, demoralizing and extremely unhealthy. I lost 80 pounds in ten months, the reality shows lose more.  My body and my mind weren’t in sync at all. There hadn’t been enough time to catch up with each other and when I was thin, I still felt fat in my head. I also wasn’t ready for life as a thin person. The world relates to you differently when you are a thin person. I wasn’t able to handle the additional attention. Fat was my comfort zone. I also ate a restrictive diet with no carbs or sugar. Well, when you give in to the cravings for both, you end up acting like a starving person. You eat as though you’ll never eat again at every meal and throughout the day and night. The weight comes back on faster than you can imagine. And then you are miserable again, but comfortable.

It is well documented that the healthiest weight loss amount per week is one to two pounds. Not ten to fifteen or more like on the reality shows. On the shows, contestants are working out four to six hours day and eating very low calorie intakes of food, similar to my experience with the no carbs and no sugar diet. And many of the winning losers are heavy again because they lost weight in an unrealistic environment without the challenges and pitfalls of real life living with a job, family, friends and life.

I recently watched Extreme Makeover Weight loss edition and they featured Ashley, who weighed in at 323 lbs. In one year’s time she lost over 150 pounds. They put her in unrealistic settings and with an unrealistic schedule to accomplish this weight loss. When she was in a real life setting, surrounded by family and food that non-dieters were eating, she only lost a small amount of weight. When they took her out of that environment and put her in a living situation where she focused solely on weight loss, she lost the unrealistic numbers.

I did take away the fact that exercise is vitally important to losing weight, and that I need to do more for my weight loss journey. But having watched both reality shows and researching failure stories I have reached the conclusion that the shows do more harm than good. I know I am losing in a healthy way, but my feelings watching the show were that I was a failure because my numbers weren’t as good as the shows. Ridiculous, and unrealistic, but real for me in that moment. I have to say, you don’t need this negative influence when you are trying to lose.

We are a society where bigger is better and apparently we believe that to be true in our weight loss as well, no matter how unhealthy that belief is. We are striving to be like the unhealthy and unrealistic models we see in magazines, and we need to have the largest numbers in the shortest amount of time when we attempt losing. It’s a sad commentary on our society’s propensity for gimmicks and unrealistic expectations. There was a weight loss show called Ruby on the Style network that ran for four seasons. She was losing weight slowly, and the show depicted her life as realistically as a reality show can. But it was cancelled before she hit her goal weight.

My story will not be on a reality series, nor will yours I’m guessing. But we won’t be setting ourselves up for failure. We will not be fodder for the unrealistic expectations of an obese nation. We will lose slowly, and be the healthy loser, not the biggest or most extreme loser. But I believe we are the ultimate winners.

I Can See Clearly – Now Sometimes

My eye

My eye (Photo credit: neuroticcamel)

Sometimes you don’t know how broken something is until you fix it. This was the case with my eyesight. I’ve always worn glasses and I generally get my eyes checked regularly, but I hadn’t gone for a long, long, time until recently, when I had a difficult time reading print books and licenses at work. I thought my eyes were just getting old, and that I was having a normal problem reading. But after I had a thorough exam and bought new glasses, I saw how broken my vision was. Now I can read the numbers on licenses and the fine print on signs at work. I can read paperback books again, the type no longer blurry. I no longer feel like my sight is aging too fast. My eyes had been open to a new perspective.

As I struggle with my weight loss, I am seeing the journey with new eyes. I used to look at the numbers of other weight watchers and I would think “It’s taken you how long to lose how much?” Too long for too little an amount of weight. I am one of those people I looked down upon not long ago. There’s more to this struggle than just eating less and moving more. A lifetime of hiding in food and fat cannot be overcome in a few months. There’s a lot of reprogramming that needs to go on. Old fears and beliefs, old habits all make for a powerful pull to not lose and stay the same, even though the same weight means unhappy and unhealthy.

Finding a new way to relate to food is really hard. Very necessary but a challenge that leaves me drained and seeking familiar solace in a box of cookies. I haven’t found my magic bullet that affords me the same comfort level sans food. Reading, writing, working and my art all provide a great deal of satisfaction, but they don’t take the place of food. Nothing has done that yet. I wonder if I will ever find the answer?

What are your thoughts? Do you struggle with this?