A LITTLE BACKGROUND: Early 2011
The last time I lost weight, (80lbs) I was on an extremely restricted diet that featured no carbs or sugar. The cravings for carbs won out and I gained all the weight back, plus 50 lbs. The plan also involved a sponsor and daily checkins with that sponsor as well as three two hour meetings a week. Unbelievable that I could do this for eight months. And it was also proof that when I commit to something, I commit 150% and I can do anything I set my mind to doing. Good lesson to learn.
It’s been over a year that I’ve been at my top weight. And it’s been a rough time. Sleep Apnea, GIRD, high cholesterol, are some of the medical issues that are directly caused by my weight. The psychological and emotional issues are many and run very deep into my psyche. I never thought I would weigh this much. Simple tasks like tying my shoelaces prove to be something I can’t do easily. Will I be able to do it easily again? Will I ever be able to walk without losing my breath? Am I destined to be this size for the rest of my life?
I have tried Weight Watchers in the past, and I had a hard time with the meetings and with sticking to the program. In the meetings, I felt very alone, even lonely. The weigh in with a person taking in the stats was uncomfortable. Then the stars and do-dads that are handed out for weekly loss achievements also made me feel like I was competing with the others in the room. No one reached out to me, and I didn’t feel like I could approach what appeared to be established relationships. I failed with this approach, and I felt worse than I did when I gained back all the weight.
But, in October, I had an epiphany of sorts. I do well online. And WW is working for so many other people including Jennifer Hudson. She looks fabulous, and if the plan could work for someone with her lifestyle, then maybe it could work for me. I hadn’t tried it, and it felt natural and “right” to try this approach to the problem. They had a three-month special that was really affordable, and I figured, “Why not?”. So, I signed up and started counting points right away.
Sunday is my weigh in day. It’s just me and the scale. The points work for me. I can eat anything as long as it’s within my daily point range. I use the computer to track everything, and I even put my own recipes into the tracker and found out I could continue to eat my favorite foods. And I found it was easy, it was fun, and it worked. My first weigh in I lost 11 lbs. And I wasn’t hungry, I wasn’t deprived of anything, and I was having fun. I found my magic bullet.
Each week that followed, I lost. I found myself meeting the goals that the website provides, 5lbs, 10lbs, 10% of my planned weightloss. And I celebrated each milestone by getting something related to weightloss, but not food. I got a new cookset, and additions to my stoneware set. I have something to show for my efforts besides less pounds. I was losing, but I couldn’t see it yet, or feel it. But I could hold a pot in my hand, I could use the new plates. They represented accomplishments. I was on my way.
The holidays arrived, and many people around me asked how could I lose during this time? The points made it easy to do. And during the last week, I indulged in chocolate truffles…a lot. So for the first time since I started, I didn’t look forward to my weigh-in. But, I didn’t gain. I didn’t lose, but I didn’t gain. Go figure. I’ve been behaving like a normal person, and I am still getting results. And, I lost 30 lbs from October to December. Not bad.
Back to my routine, gone are the truffles. And I am back on track. This will be the year of loss for me. A journey towards myself. I’ll be losing the equivalent of a person, but I am not focused on the big picture…it’s too daunting. I am focused on the next 30 lbs. One day at a time, one weekly weigh in at a time. All movement towards a lofty goal. But I know I can achieve it because I am committed to it, and I’ve learned there’s nothing I can’t do.