The Weekly Facts of Loss – At an Impasse, I am Failing

I have bad news to report. You may have noticed I didn’t post last week, and I am reluctantly posting this week. I have been off plan fo two weeks and I’ve gained 4lbs in two weeks. It’s causing me to question everything about this weight loss journey.

Am I committed? If I am (because I say I am) then why this struggle? Why go off the plan and sabotage my progress?

I have lost weight in the past, only to gain it back again. I do fear that happening again, and maybe I am making what I believe to be the future happen now?

I am beginning to believe I am not strong enough to make this goal happen, that I will be heavy forever. I am beginning to believe I am not worthy of being healthy and thin.

I am questioning the whole goal now. It costs so much money to eat healthy, to subscribe to WW Online, to belong to a gym (even if it’s a bargain gym). Why am I shelling out the money if I won’t stay on the program? It’s cheaper to be fat.

The call of the food is stronger than my committment to lose. The food is a drug and I am weak against its pull. Whether I eat carbs and sugar or whether I don’t, the end result is the same. Cravings that I have to satisfy. And the subsequent weight gain.

So I must take a pause and re-evaluate my committment and ability to continue.

Have you ever been in this position? What did you do to turn things around? Did you turn them around, or did you find you weren’t able to?

 

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “The Weekly Facts of Loss – At an Impasse, I am Failing

  1. I think we all face this at one point or another, whether it be for weight loss or another journey we’re on. Questioning is a good thing, it helps you to explore your reasons for wanting to achieve your goal. I think it’s healthy to re-evaluate your commitment. Perhaps it’s time to look at things a little differently and change your perspective. Instead of worrying about the number on the scale perhaps you should take your measurements and evaluate your progress on that. Or forget about your weight or your measurements altogether for a month and just concentrate on being active. Maybe it’s not going to the gym but simply going out for a walk a couple times a week or riding a bike or even gardening. I find when I’m active I automatically eat better because it makes me feel better. Don’t give up altogether Monique, you’ve come so far. If this stuff was easy everyone would be a ‘perfect’ weight!

    • Thank you Brenda…You have good ideas. I don’t want to give up, I just feel so defeated right now. I’ll work on getting a different perspective. I wish I didn’t have to go to the gym. I live in Florida and it’s pretty hot here, so outdoor activity for me is torturous, and my neighborhood isn’t the best, so going for a walk doesn’t work. But I have been thinking about ways to make my workouts more interesting. I’m seriously thinking about joining the weight watchers meetings instead of the online program, figuring I might stand a better chance of finding a workout partner or buddy. That is one change I think would help. Maybe doing it solo isn’t the way to do it now.

      • It certainly does help when you have a workout buddy. It helps keep you accountable, especially on those days you are tempted to give it up and go out instead! It also helps to have someone there to help motivate you. Good luck Monique!

  2. My opinion. As if you asked. is that you immerse yourself in something safe like writing and research leaving no time for YOU. Perhaps a morning agenda of the activities of the day so you can plan and see what needs to be done, what you want/don’t want to do and what fun needs to be incorporated. I believe the word is balance. Do not over analyze this. BALANCE. No one knows how to schedule your day but you. Do what you have to do or what you want to do. With love…

  3. In my not so humble opinion, all of the mumbo jumbo in your head is a culmination of your fears. But get out of your head! Stop thinking about all of that. Do you FEEL happy about your body? My guess is no. (I have been there…like a month ago). Well, just GET UP and do something. When you start to think about it, stand up and start walking in place. If the thoughts continue in your head, keep walking in place, and start using your arms. Punch air if you have to. Just move. Your heart rate will come up and it will be a lot easier to just continue out to the living room where there is an exercise calling your name. And honestly, mine is calling me right now, and I have procrastinated by blogging. lol.

    YOU CAN DO THIS. Don’t let the mumbo jumbo in your head stop you. Becoming fit is not about that! It is about feeling good about your body. Don’t mix the two. 🙂

    Going to go Zumba!
    Sunshine

  4. We all face this on our weight loss journeys. One thing someone asked me: why do you go to WW every week when you haven’t really lost more than that initial 15 or so pounds and still have so far to go. It’s because I lost that 15 or so initial pounds and they aren’t on my body.

    Look at what you’ve lost so far. You have 2 choices: accept that it’s a two steps forward, one back process and push yourself the next step forward or just keep sliding backwards. Food will always be an issue, that’s our reality but do you think you’re healthier today than the day you started? If so, then you accept it’s a set back and realized today’s a new day… right now’s a new minute.

    My father tells the story of the day he quit smoking. He was driving my older sister somewhere and lit up a cigarette. She asked him why he was still smoking after the surgeon general’s report and knowing it killed his father, his brother in law and so many others. He said he was planning on quitting for his New Year’s resolution. She then asked him why he didn’t just quit… right now… cold turkey. He put out the cigarette and never lit up another one again.

    When I get stuck after veering off plan, I remember that story and turn the page on my food log and start anew. You can do this, steps forwards and back.

    • Hey Karla, Steps forward and steps back. Yes. I have to do what Sunni said and get out of my head and take the next step. It’s taking the next step that’s posing the challenge. The thing is, 30+ lbs gone and I don’t feel different. I know in my head I’m healthier because I’ve lost it, but I don’t feel any different and that may be why I am at this impasse. Thanks for weighing in…

  5. Anyone who has struggled with their weight has been in the exact same spot you are in. So, you took two weeks off – just commit to making better choices today and see where that takes you. you can do this.Start with a walk outside today instead of pushing yourself at the gym. And don’t beat yourself up. Just pat yourself on the back for all the progress you already made. 🙂 Thanks for a thoughtful and vulnerable post. We have all been there.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s