The Weekly Facts of Loss: +1

 The Stats: Weigh-in shows a gain of 1 lb, a disappointment but not a surprise. Last week I stayed the same. I did get a new scale and indeed the first scale was off substantially.  The new scale cost less and is more accurate.

The weekly recap:

This week was a wash out. I didn’t do enough exercise, and I ate a lot of cookies in a moment of weakness. I have to admit I thought about not telling you this, just committing the sin of omission. But I can’t do that. I am being honest with myself and with you. I am showing you the ugliness of the struggle to change.  And it is a daily struggle.

I went to the gym 3x, but 2x were just for 30 minutes. I have to do at least 40 minutes and by now should be up to an hour. Again, it is a struggle.

Weight loss blogs:

This week is Living, Laughing, and Losing by Kim Cashin. I like her writing style and her attitude. And she likes cats, so that’s a plus as well. She has really good pics of herself (something I am planning for myself). She’s young (OK I admit it, almost everyone is starting to look like a youngin’ to me lately. A definite sign I’m “Mature”), with youthful exuberance which comes across in her writing. Her blog is a pleasure to follow.

Tip for the week:

No weight-loss tip this week, but a reminder that I have split this blog into two. This is the weight-loss journey.  My writing journey is Monique Egelhoff – Writer. That is where my essays are now and where I am featuring information on writing and the writing life. My art will continue on both blogs. I hope you will follow both blogs!

Feel good moments this week:

Started my makeover this week by going to the eye doctor and getting an exam (very long overdue, I’m embarrassed to say.) I then went to Visionworks for eyeglasses. Found a great new pair and got them half off so I could get the transitions lenses which I never could afford in the past. There’s more to the makeover to come so I won’t be taking pictures till later in July. But seeing the new glasses made me feel pretty good.

Goals for this coming week:

Hit the gym 4x, going for 40 minutes each day on the elliptical, and doing weights three days.

Tracking better

Cooking this week.

Blog post



Gym, Writing, and Mondays


Gym (Photo credit: ivywoodavenue)

Just got back from the gym. Yes, I joined and this will make day four in it. I know people say they get a good feeling from working out, a kind of high if you will, but that doesn’t happen for me. No surge of energy, no endorphins, and yes, I get my heart rate up to aerobic levels for a sustained period of time, current 25 minutes out of 40. But I did get a feeling of accomplishment today, a sense of satisfaction that I know I wouldn’t have gotten from anything else I’ve done. Had I stayed home, I would have felt guilt, which I would like to avoid seeing how I have spent way too long feeling that particular emotion over recent years.

As I walked on the treadmill, I watched the other people in the gym. Once again, I am the largest person there, and I feel conspicuous, but in reality, I don’t think anyone cares that I am big. They are tuned into their own workout. It’s me comparing myself to others that makes me feel bad. I am trying to temper this by telling myself two things, 1. You can’t compete or compare yourself with other people, 2. You won’t be this size forever, so it’s temporary. Baby steps.

Back to the people, they are a mixed bag, with a variety of age groups and both sexes evenly represented. The people who stand out to me, the ones I would like to emulate are not the perky twenty/thirty somethings, or the muscular 1% body fat studs, it’s the senior citizens. They interact with each other more, they are dedicated and do their own thing at their own pace and they do both aerobic and weights. They set a good example of priorities and self-care.  There is one woman who has her oxygen with her, several with walkers. They all are doing what right for their health.  I wonder if that will be me someday? I hope so.

As for my writing, I’ve finished an essay that I’ll be entering in a contest later this year. It’s about a decision you regret. For me, that would be eating my way to my size. I like how it turned out, and have given it to my niece to critique. My sister gave me her critique and I am going to make the appropriate changes to the essay, then put it aside for a month and come back to it and see what improvements can be made. I can’t share it here because that would constitute a form of publishing and that’s against the rules. Eventually, I will publish it here, but that’s in the distant future.

Ball point pen (Biro) writing

Ball point pen (Biro) writing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I found a writing conference I would like to attend in September. It’s very reasonable and the program I’m interested in is one day. I can drive there and back without having to stay over. Yes, this writing gig is serious. It’s something I have wanted to do all my life and for one reason or another I didn’t pursue it because I never gave myself permission to pursue it. Well, now I know better and I have permission to pursue it, wherever it leads me. This is definitely one of my bucket list things and I feel very empowered by doing it.

Is there something that you are doing that gives you a feeling of accomplishment and empowerment?

Five Things To Do While Breaking A Plateau

What I thought would be a one week situation is now spanning several weeks. I am trying not to obsess over it, and time is moving slow till Sunday’s weigh in. Now I’m a patient person, but this is getting on my last nerve. So, how am I passing the time? Here are the highlights:

1. Move A Room: I  re-arranged my studio/workspace. Originally I thought I would be spending money on my office this year because the space wasn’t working on many levels. But what I did instead was really look at what I was working with and re-purposed almost everything in the room. The results are perfect for what I do there, and better than it would have been had I spent the money. Now the room feels good, re-energized and as my sister would say, full of good Chi.

2. Take Pictures: Here are me and the studio. I’ll be taking pics of me every fifty pounds, or when there’s change. God, these are horrifying! The studio I’m really proud of and wanted to share with you.

3.  Exercise: I finally broke through the block against working out. Now it’s easier and something I’m feeling good about doing. I’ve been hopping on the bike for half hour increments while watching TV. (I know you shouldn’t watch TV, but I’ll admit to be a addict. But no reality shows. Does that redeem me in your eyes?)

4. Organize Something:  I have a list of projects I’ve been procrastinating taking action on. One of them was a large financial project involving receipts and reports. I’ve completed the receipts and now am ready to do the reports. Next will be the lesser areas that need some re-organization. It’s very freeing and energizing to get these things done.

5. Research: Writing and Art: A blog takes work to keep up. You have to read what other people are doing. You have to reach out to others and hopefully increase your readership and awareness of your existance. You have to research topics to write about. You have to write, alot. All of which I enjoy doing. You have to to make your blog grow and be something people want to follow. I am very focused on this and am devoting a lot of time to it. As for my art, I draw from pictures and I have to look for interesting pictures to draw from.

Making good use of my time, but the clock is moving slow and the days are just dragging. Maybe you have some thoughts on things to do while waiting? Share them here. I’d love to get your input.

Accepting Body Image During Weight-loss

About a year ago, I saw Jennifer Hudson on Oprah talking about and showing off her weight-loss. She went from a size 16 to a size 6, and wouldn’t disclose how many lbs that was. Strange. Anyway, she looks fabulous. She talked about her mind not catching up with her body….I so know what that feels like. I was lost in that place. A skinny body and I wasn’t ready for it, despite working my butt off for it, I felt scared. I’d go shopping and just like JH, I would go to the larger sized clothes, instead of the small size that I was. My head never caught up with my body…until I was fat again, then all felt normal. Fat feels comfortable even though being  this fat is uncomfortable.

Acceptance Begins Now, During the Weight-Loss Process

Improving body image is not something that can be put off till after a weight-loss goal is achieved. I did it that way and failed miserablyIt’s something to be done now, in preparation for the massive loss. Body image is a learned belief propagated by our life experiences and the input from the people around us. Lots of different beliefs went into shaping our present self-image. To change this, we have to find out what we believe.

How Do You Change Body Image?


For one week, keep a journal nearby and write down the thoughts that pertain to self-image. Don’t censure them, just chronicle them.

At the end of the week, see what you have. Look at this self-talk and think about where each thought originated from. Was it something your mom said to you? Did your schoolmates say this to you? Did you read about it? Or is it something you came up with when facing the cultural images of perfection that are thrown at us each day?

Now, write a positive and loving statement for each negative one. These are your new affirmations that you will essentially brainwash yourself with. This positivity is being created by you, not by an outside force. Keep this new list of beliefs near you and refer to it frequently, and when a negative message pops into your consciousness. Eventually, the new will replace the old.

Changing body image doesn’t end with this exercise, you have to make changes in your routine as well. Make sure when you do this that you take steps to achieve the goal of a better body image. Set yourself up for success by making goals that are quantifiable and achievable.

  • Eat well and drink lots of water. Eat foods that are delicious as well as healthy. Enjoy your nourishment and keep to a schedule of three meals a day plus two snacks
  • Exercise daily if possible. Attune yourself to the pleasurable feelings that accompany a good workout.
  • Pay attention to your clothes. Wear things that make you feel good because you look good in them.  Don’t try for perfection, just go for feeling good.
  • Continue to work on the inside…improved body image radiates from within.

 My Goals

I revised my ultimate goal when I set out to lose weight. I know I had the wrong goal the last time I lost. This time I’m shooting for a size 12. Not too thin.  I should be approximately 150 lbs. My focus is on the size rather than the pounds.  Totally attainable.

  • Have a goal of 30 lbs to lose, 1-2 lbs a week to achieve it. Do that 5 times.
  • Exercise 4 times a week for a minimum of a half hour each session
  • Put together five outfits that look good and make me feel good and plan my week with those outfits.
  • Journal daily about the negative voices that cloud my self-image. Do the exercise above and challenge the negative script running through my head

Better self-image is a journey just like weight-loss is. So, I’m adding this to my blog focus this year.

How do you view your body? Have you changed your body image and if so, how did you do it?


Great articles to read: Changing Your Body Image Fostering a positive Self Image  Look and Feel Great At Any Weight Body Image – Men


Thinking About Exercise (Not the Same As Doing It!)

Well, I’m not doing as well as I had planned with regard to exercise, but I did just go to the grocery store with my list, and just for kicks picked up 30 lbs of sugar. Now that made me feel good! That is off my body! I felt so good I took an extra trip around the store just to walk some more.

Below is a link for an article that was good on getting started with exercise.

So why don’t I just go outside and walk you might ask, (and I might advocate?)? The area where I live isn’t all that great. The last time I went walking here, the police helicopters were flying overhead and there were three cruisers looking for someone. I went home and thought about walking for weeks!

Seriously, the area can be a problem, so I’m using my sister’s recumbant bicycle. And I’m off to do that now.

What do you do for exercise? What are your challenges getting exercise into your schedule?