The Weekly Facts of Loss – At an Impasse, I am Failing

I have bad news to report. You may have noticed I didn’t post last week, and I am reluctantly¬†posting this week. I have been off plan fo two weeks and I’ve gained 4lbs in two weeks. It’s causing me to question everything about this weight loss journey.

Am I committed? If I am (because I say I am) then why this struggle? Why go off the plan and sabotage my progress?

I have lost weight in the past, only to gain it back again. I do fear that happening again, and maybe I am making what I believe to be the future happen now?

I am beginning to believe I am not strong enough to make this goal happen, that I will be heavy forever. I am beginning to believe I am not worthy of being healthy and thin.

I am questioning the whole goal now. It costs so much money to eat healthy, to subscribe to WW Online, to belong to a gym (even if it’s a bargain gym). Why am I shelling out the money if I won’t stay on the program? It’s cheaper to be fat.

The call of the food is stronger than my committment to lose. The food is a drug and I am weak against its pull. Whether I eat carbs and sugar or whether I don’t, the end result¬†is the same. Cravings that I have to satisfy. And the subsequent weight gain.

So I must take a pause and re-evaluate my committment and ability to continue.

Have you ever been in this position? What did you do to turn things around? Did you turn them around, or did you find you weren’t able to?

 

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