The Weekly Facts of Loss – At an Impasse, I am Failing

I have bad news to report. You may have noticed I didn’t post last week, and I am reluctantly posting this week. I have been off plan fo two weeks and I’ve gained 4lbs in two weeks. It’s causing me to question everything about this weight loss journey.

Am I committed? If I am (because I say I am) then why this struggle? Why go off the plan and sabotage my progress?

I have lost weight in the past, only to gain it back again. I do fear that happening again, and maybe I am making what I believe to be the future happen now?

I am beginning to believe I am not strong enough to make this goal happen, that I will be heavy forever. I am beginning to believe I am not worthy of being healthy and thin.

I am questioning the whole goal now. It costs so much money to eat healthy, to subscribe to WW Online, to belong to a gym (even if it’s a bargain gym). Why am I shelling out the money if I won’t stay on the program? It’s cheaper to be fat.

The call of the food is stronger than my committment to lose. The food is a drug and I am weak against its pull. Whether I eat carbs and sugar or whether I don’t, the end result is the same. Cravings that I have to satisfy. And the subsequent weight gain.

So I must take a pause and re-evaluate my committment and ability to continue.

Have you ever been in this position? What did you do to turn things around? Did you turn them around, or did you find you weren’t able to?

 

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The Weekly Facts of Loss – 38.2Lbs

The Stats: Weigh-in shows a loss of 1.8lbs, bringing me over the plateau of 37 lbs that I’ve been at for so long!

The weekly recap:

This past week has been an OK one, not great, but OK. I made it to the fifty minute mark on the elliptical, which was a goal. Didn’t make it to sixty minutes, but I will soon, maybe next week. I would like to reach four days minimum working out, this week was two. That is why the loss is so little.

I don’t know why I keep slacking on the gym. I know intellectually that I need to go every day, but I allow things to deter me from going. Maybe the new blogs I found this week will help keep me on track next week. The inspiration coming from other people’s accomplishments fueling my work and helping me to stay on track.

I wonder why I am hesitant to really buckle down and work out like I should. Is there an underlying reason this keeps happening? The reason that crosses my mind is the same reason I regained my weight the last time I lost. I wasn’t ready in my head to be thin. Could this be playing out again now? I’ll think about this some more and see if it’s what is happening.

Weight loss blogs:

I went looking for weight-loss blogs this week. I found quite a few and I’ll be featuring them here in the coming weeks.

This week’s blog is Who Ate My Blog.

Steven Vinson was 632 pounds and has lost over three hundred pounds, bringing him close to his weight goal. I don’t like his food choices, but they are working for him, and that’s the important thing. Each person must find what works for them and stick with that.

Tip for the week:

Fresh pear or Gala apple, sliced and topped with light Laughing Cow Blue or chipolte cheese (35 calories a wedge) Point value:1!  Delicious!

Feel good moments this week:

I was at work, waiting on a customer who really wasn’t in the mood to interact, but she looked up from her purse and said that I looked thinner. I told her I was just over 37 pounds and she brightened right up and complimented me on my accomplishment so far. We chatted a bit and I felt really good. She hadn’t seen me in a very long time, and she wasn’t trying to make me feel good. But she did.

The other feel good moment happened when I was with my mom when she was buying a car. The salesperson hadn’t seen me in a while and when we walked outside, she pointed out how good I look now. (Wait till she sees me next year!)

Remember, if you see someone and like how they look, pay them a compliment. You never know what   kind of impact it may have for the other person. It will be a feel good moment for you as well.

Goals for this coming week:

Hit the gym 4x, going for 50 minutes each day on the elliptical or the treadmill, and doing weights two days.

Tracking better

Cooking this week.

The weekly facts of loss 37.4

I’ve not been receiving much feedback  as of late about my weight loss stats and I think it’s because I’ve been including the information in posts that are not written exclusively about the loss. So, I’ll post about the actual weight loss by itself from now on.

I had done well, losing 37 lbs, then I plateaued, then I gained, then I went off plan for a few weeks because I was depressed over my results, then I went back on plan and within three weeks was back at 37 lb weight loss. Today, my stats are: 2 lbs lost (My Goal for the Week!) 19 activity points and four days at the gym on elliptical.

I am still struggling with the exercise. Some days I can go 50 minutes on the elliptical, other days 30 is my limit. Very frustrating.

I wrote of a new hero last week,  (Lynn’sWeigh) Lynn is struggling with gaining back some of the weight she lost. It shows me that it is a constant battle to keep the weight off, even after you reach your goal. Even if you go public in a big way, that added pressure doesn’t save you from stumbling. I feel better about my back slide now. If I go through one or two or however many back slides now, maybe I won’t go through so many after I reach goal? I can only hope and keep working the plan.

Goals for this week: 2 lbs, four – five times at the gym 40 minutes minimum. Begin with weights.

 

The Fat Trap and Other Truths and Discoveries

I found this article on Dave Kirchhoff’s blog (ManMeetsScale)  the other day,  The Fat Trap by New York Times writer Tara Parker-Pope . It is a difficult article in that it is so honest and dead on. It speaks of the connection between obesity and genetics. This information was sobering, as I look at my family and the weight between the four of us is impressive. I am reminded of the man talking to his friend about his fiance. He wonders if she’ll always be as beautiful as she is now. His friend says look at her mother, that’s the path she could take. You could be seeing your fiance look like her mother in twenty years.  OK, so I surpassed my mother, but not by much. One size. I’m not really into the studies on obesity simply because the information they contain is too negative for someone in my position to process. My intellect is peaked, my ego, not so much.

The article also speaks of the work that it takes to remain thin once you have been overweight. This brought home the realization I had when I started plateauing. This is a challenge you will have forever. Since I have to think in small increments of time to be successful in this loss, I will push this thought to a closed compartment in my mind. It’s simply too daunting and depressing to think about now. No, now is the time for thinking a day at a time, a week at a time. More is out of the question. A couple of pounds at a time is my speed.

A positive I found in all the negative regarding obesity and loss is a blog by Lynn Haraldson Lynn’s Weigh. She has lost 166 pounds and is keeping it off. She’s been on Oprah, the morning network shows, and in People Magazine. I have found a new hero, just when I was looking for one. I’m sure I will link back to her blog frequently. She also has an impressive blogroll that I want to explore. She is in a club I aspire to be in, and in two years, will be. Her original blog during the weight loss was Lynn’s Weight Loss Journey.

So, the stats for this week are four pounds lost. I’m back to where I was before the plateau and gain. My activity points were fifteen. That’s pretty good for me, but this week I’d like to see better stats. This week, my goals are to lose two pounds and to get to one hour on the eliptical three times, workout four times for the week and reach an activity points goal of twenty points.

Book Review: Weight Loss Boss by Dave Kirchhoff

Written from a man’s perspective, Weight Loss Boss is Dave Kirchhoff’s story of weight loss and maintenance as well as his career with Weight Watchers as their CEO and lifetime member. He describes his struggles with food and exercise and the battle he had losing his weight. I think it interesting that Weight Watchers hired him when he was overweight. I have to admit, I like a man who is in touch with his emotional side and is self- aware. Kirchhoff writes about his reasons for eating as well as telling the story of how he has been a lifetime “sneaker” of food.

Since I am in the battle myself, I thought I could use the encouragement from the book. I have to say, it is encouraging. Once you get past the resume that he expounds upon, the book is informative and easy to follow. He lists nerdy facts and research that you know an organization like Weight Watchers is privy to, (WW doesn’t spout all the technical stuff at you, preferring to keep the approach user friendly and simple)so I may not be one for statistics and research, it was heartening to know that the program is backed by science.

I wanted to experience a man’s perspective on WW, and I think he did a good job representing his gender.  While none of the WW information was news to me, I’ve learned most of it from the online program and by the forums, I still derived information from the book. For me, it’s the exercise that is posing the biggest challenge, and he shows you how much he programs into his busy schedule, something for me to strive towards.

I would say get the book if you are in WW or are interested in WW.  If you are looking for diet tips, not so much as there aren’t a lot of chapters devoted to tips. There are other ways of getting that information. Since men are the minority in WW, it is nice to see a quality publication be available that may bring more men to the fold. His blog http:/ManMeetsScale.com  is great to follow, very informative. It is important to note that the profits of this book are going to charity.

If you read it, come back and give your opinion…I’d love to hear what you think.

 

The Dance

Changing your lifestyle is not easy. Yes, this statement comes as a surprise to me. When I first started this journey, everything clicked and fell together with ease. The food was easy to prepare, it was good, I was engaged and it was fun. I proudly extolled the virtues of Weight Watchers Online to anyone who would listen, proudly stating it was a program I could be on for the rest of my life. It was new, and again, it was fun. The weight peeled off and I relished my newfound success. As time progressed the weight loss slowed, but continued. More time went by and the weight loss plateaued and the newness wore off. No longer fun, this weight loss journey became work. And the loss was sporadic.

Weight loss is like a relationship, with all the same stages. My track record with relationships is spotty at best, so here I am, stalled, feeling overwhelmed and discouraged and knowing that the answer lies somewhere inside me to resume the fight and get back to losing. The honeymoon is over and now comes the work to keep putting one foot in front of the other, making the time between weigh-ins productive and focused. The newness must be replaced with tenacity and resolve. My previous negative experiences  with relationships pushed to the back burner and a new trial and error education has commenced.

No room for failure, I went very public early on in this battle between me and the food and the exercise. I did it by design. It’s easy to fail in private, and success is best experienced with others to share the journey. I thought all I would write about would be the positives of the journey. But that’s not realistic, is it? So, I share with you the struggle; dirty and painful. Food pulls at me and we dance, sometimes I lead, sometimes the food leads. The goal is for me to lead always.

I have a goal. I have a plan. I have the desire. I have a public platform. Now, I resume the work needed to get this journey back on track.  Stay with me, because I have a feeling this is going to be an interesting ride.

Food Addiction – Don’t Believe Me, Believe My Body…Part Two

So, You think you’re addicted to food? Now what? You have to tame the tiger, ’cause you can’t just walk away from it. As a food addict myself, I can say that trying to eliminate the problem completely, like not eating any sugar or carbs or fat doesn’t work. See the post yesterday. But what does seem to work is:

  • Balancing your menu and eating freshly prepared foods, not processed foods. More veggies and fruits. Keep fat to a minimum, but do have some, like olive oil.
  • Some people have better luck cutting out sugar and synthetic sugar products (like diet soda) completely from their diet.
  • Writing down everything you eat in one journal, and in another journal or in a support group, write or talk about how you are feeling. Track what your trigger emotions are so you can better deal with them. Identifying a problem makes it easier to solve.
  • Exercise more, especially when angry or emotional. Exercise helps to re-direct emotions away from food.
  • Professional help. There are many emotional issues related to food addiction and therapy is instrumental in breaking through those issues.

As you may know already, I’m losing my weight with Weight Watchers and I find that the plan is the most balanced and realistic in terms of real world interaction with food. Since I had such a disastrous experience with cutting out sugar completely, I am practicing moderation which seems to work. I get cravings, I plan to eat something sweet in a normal portion size and then the craving goes away. I haven’t over-indulged and I am behaving like my thin friends and that is one of my goals. To behave normally around food. Balance is important in life, and I am finding that with WW, I have balance. Therapy is also helpful, more for the emotional issues rather than the actual addiction.

Are you addicted to food? What do you do to handle it?